Monday, December 29, 2008

Rudolph, Shmudolph...

Transcript from a conversation at dinner


Isaac: "I say, that chap Rudolph…"
Seth: "What about?"
Isaac: "There’s something that doesn’t ring true."
Seth: "Oh?"
I: "How come it was a foggy night? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure it’s a meteorological impossibility in that region."
Mum: You mean at the North Pole?
I: "Yes."
S: "Yes, but Santa must be tracking the weather all over the world. The song doesn’t specifically state the location of the fog. Obviously the implication is that somewhere on S.C.’s route it’s as thick as pea soup."
I: "So if this was such a problem what did Santa do before he discovered ol’ Rudy?"
M: "Maybe Rudolph was descended from a long line of scarlet snouted Rangiferia, and it was sort of a family business."
I: "But if there were more than one, ‘all of the other reindeer’ wouldn’t have ostracized him for his abnormality!"
*gets a wild look
"I'm telling you it's all a conspiracy, man!"
S&M: Mm…

Thursday, December 25, 2008

A friend's birthday with friends

Sorry this is so late in coming!

Monday, December 15, 2008

Saturday, December 6, 2008


Went to the CE today.
The coffee of the day?
French Roast Uganda, my favorite. A bit on the dark side, as roasts go, but that's the way I like it. And so, feeling particularly mature, I asked Tiffany, "Uganda get some?" and then rejoiced in the fact that there's no such thing as a bad pun. Because, really, when you think about it, what makes one pun any more valid than another?
They're all equally low on the humor food chain, if you ask me. Puns are the ultimate solution to a lot of situations, though. For example, if you have a slip of the tongue, simply laugh, and then quickly follow it up with a pun phrase (i.e, "that was pun, let's do another one!). With any luck the person or people will think your mistake was simply a pun they didn't get, and not wanting to appear to be so dumb they couldn't even catch a pun, they will join you in riotous laughter, and all will be merry and bright.
Oh, and speaking of merry and bright, here's a special Christmas Story.
As we (Cheryl, Leanna, Tiffany and I) were walking back to our car after spending quality coffee time at the Emporium, a man walks up to me. Not just any man, though, for as I looked into his eyes I saw something special.
True, his clothes were all tarnished with all who knows what,
and his face had the idiotic grin of a nut,
but his hair looked like it had been touched by a comb,
and the red pointed hat he wore looked just at home.
His eyes how they sparkled, his smile so cheery,
his cheeks were so rosy, his breath a little beery.
His stick-on beard was as white as the snow,
and all and all he made quite the hobo.
The final point though was when he shouted and said:
"Put a smile on your face, now, don't look quite so sad!"
Then laying a finger along side his red nose,
he honked it, twice, for it was one of those.
Then up across the street like a comet he dashed,
prancing and dancing on his way past.
And though in my mind there's no question he's batty,
it just made me think, ah,
how I love Cincinnati.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Every time a bell rings...

...a student gets an A!


(Bursts forth into song, to the tune of Jingle Bells.)

College life, college life,
Grinds your health away.
Finals, tests, all without rest,
And reading that’s due today.
College life, college life,
Makes you quite a sight,
Oh, what fun it is to write
That term paper tonight!

Back to work.
Putting the "stud" in student,